The world facepalmed in perfect unison today after a leaked recording revealed Donald Trump’s casual threat to “bomb Moscow and…
Trump Slaps 50% Copper Tariff: China & Brazil Cry Foul
Not done with yesterday’s letters, Trump just cranked up the drama: a 50% import tariff on copper, starting August. China…
Nvidia Hits $4 Trillion: AI Thrives, Oil Sulks
While energy and cyber crises wreak havoc, Nvidia just rocketed to a $4 trillion market cap—proof that AI is the…
Trump Mails Tariff Threats to BRICS: Indonesia Gets a Love Letter Too
Donald Trump is done ranting online—now he’s sending official tariff threat letters like holiday postcards. BRICS countries and anyone “supporting…
Trump Threatens Extra 10% Tariff: BRICS-Friendly Countries, Check Your Mailbox!
President Donald Trump is back on his favorite social media stage—this time dropping a bombshell tariff threat. He announced an…
WFH Says Bye-Bye: Internet Down, Power Broke, Remote Workers Get the Boot!
WFH, our beloved pajama-friendly office, just hit the big pause button.Hundreds of thousands of remote workers who loved bragging about…
Internet is Down Nationwide, But White House Says “Everything’s Totally Fine, Guys”
As major cities across the U.S. grapple with a mysterious internet outage, the White House confidently assured the public, “There…
Freedom on Fire: Americans Swap Fireworks for Protest Signs on the 4th of July
This year’s Independence Day looks less like a celebration and more like a clearance sale on national patience. Across the…
Freedom on Fumes: Gas Prices Skyrocket, Millions Celebrate July 4th in Their Living Rooms
This Fourth of July, Americans are experiencing a new kind of independence: independence from road trips, from BBQs, and from…
One Big Brutal Bill: Poor Told to Fast, Rich Toast With Champagne
Just in time for Independence Day, the Senate has passed a patriotic surprise package: the One Big Beautiful Bill. The…
U.S. Internet Goes Poof: When the Digital World Throws a Tantrum
Parts of the U.S. just experienced the digital apocalypse—no memes, no money transfers, no morning coffee orders. The internet went…
Recession Is Coming, and the White House Is Playing Hide and Seek
The Fed Chief has spoken: “A recession is almost inevitable.” Wall Street fainted, economists sighed dramatically, and Twitter became a…
Trump Calls for National Mobilization—Mistakes Crisis for Reality Show Finale
In a fiery speech that could’ve easily been the pilot for The Apprentice: War Edition, former President Donald Trump urged…
Pentagon Warns of Cyber Attacks: Americans Asked to Update Passwords from ‘123456’ to ‘1234567’
In a stunning revelation that shocked absolutely no one, the Pentagon announced that America’s critical infrastructure is under threat from…
Oil Hits $150: Americans Now Willingly Time Travel Back to the 1970s
In a bold reenactment of the 1970s, Americans across the country lined up at gas stations, not for nostalgia—but because…
Wall Street Goes on Emotional Leave as Dow Drops 1,000 Points
Wall Street just had a meltdown more dramatic than a soap opera finale, with the Dow Jones plunging over 1,000…
Middle East Chaos Sends Oil to the Moon, Stocks to Therapy
Despite yesterday’s surprise “peace announcement” by Trump (which both Iran and Israel politely ignored), the Middle East conflict has escalated…
Trump Claims Iran-Israel Ceasefire; World Seeks Fact-Checker with Superpowers
Donald Trump broke the internet (again) by declaring on Truth Social that Iran and Israel have agreed to a ceasefire…
Iran Threatens to Close Hormuz; World Oil Throws a Tantrum
After a U.S. strike on Iranian soil, Tehran has threatened to shut down the Strait of Hormuz, the world’s favorite…
USA on Alert! Iran’s Angry, Radars On, Coffee Brewing
After a suspected strike on its nuclear site, Iran is fuming—and the U.S. isn’t taking chances. Radars are spinning, jets…
Déjà Vu on the Dunes: Cowboy Sees Vietnam with Sand
An old American cowboy squints up at the fighter jets heading toward Iran and mutters, “I’ve seen this movie before……
VOA Fires Staff: AI Doesn’t Complain or Ask for Sick Leave
Silence fell over the offices of Voice of America (VOA). Not because of a live broadcast or technical glitch, but…
Cowboy Enters Two Fighting Tents: Peacemaker or Firestarter?
Tension peaked today as a lone cowboy stood at the center of two tents in chaos. On the left, frying…
Rates Up, Down, Sideways: Is the Fed a Roller Coaster Now?
The Federal Reserve held another “crucial” meeting, leaving markets jittery and citizens scratching their heads. They say the economy is…
Bill or Reality Show? The Senate Melts Down (Again)
Trump’s mega-bill sparked a Senate debate hotter than a microwave with the door open. Senators hurled jabs, sarcasm, and veiled…
Welcome to America… Wait, Never Mind
The White House announced plans to ban entry from 38 more countries—because apparently, banning just a few wasn’t exciting enough.…
Tanks Roll in DC, Protesters Roll Their Eyes Nationwide
While tanks proudly paraded down Washington’s shiny avenues in honor of President Trump’s birthday and the Army’s 250th anniversary, thousands…
Minnesota Politics Now with Bullet Points
In a shocking twist that made even the Capitol coffee machine stop brewing, Minnesota lawmakers faced more than just heated…
Meta Dives Into Super AI: Zuckerberg Sends $14B and Hopes It Doesn’t Take Over the World
Meta is going all-in on artificial intelligence, investing a cool $14.3 billion in Scale AI and hiring its CEO Alexandr…
Trump to Gift $1,000 to Every Newborn: Welcome to America, Here’s Your Starter Pack
In a surprise twist, President Trump promised a $1,000 investment account for every baby born on U.S. soil. The plan…