In a shocking twist that made even the Capitol coffee machine stop brewing, Minnesota lawmakers faced more than just heated debates this week. Representative Melissa Hortman and her husband were fatally shot, while Senator John Hoffman and his wife were injured in what FBI officials now call “a tragic case of democracy with live ammunition.”
Experts suggest it’s time to swap bullet points in policy memos with actual bulletproof vests. Capitol staff now wear both suits and Kevlar—because apparently, political arguments now come with gunpowder.