In a bold reenactment of the 1970s, Americans across the country lined up at gas stations, not for nostalgia—but because crude oil hit $150 a barrel. “I wasn’t alive in 1979, but I imagine it felt just like this—except now we have iPhones to complain with,” said Greg, who had been in line for 3 hours and gained 47 new TikTok followers.
With the Middle East conflict raging on like a poorly written action movie that won’t end, gas prices in the U.S. have soared. One driver was seen trading a kidney for a full tank in New Jersey—”but only the left one,” he clarified.
Experts warn of severe inflation, supply shortages, and emotional breakdowns on the freeway. Meanwhile, Tesla owners were seen smugly sipping lattes… until they realized electricity rates had also tripled.