The Fed Chief has spoken: “A recession is almost inevitable.” Wall Street fainted, economists sighed dramatically, and Twitter became a therapy session.
Meanwhile, the White House responded with… absolute silence. Some say they’re drafting a plan. Others suspect they’ve just started binge-watching an economic survival series on Netflix.
When reporters asked for a statement, one insider whispered, “They’re still waiting for a group chat reply from the Economy Team.” Until then, Americans are advised to stay calm, brew some tea, and stop refreshing their stock apps every 30 seconds.