Good news for disaster survivors in America: FEMA finally realized that filling 200 pages of forms while sitting on a flooded roof isn’t exactly “quick help”.
A new bill promises to slash the jungle of red tape that has turned disaster recovery into a multi-decade adventure — faster than watching paint dry, but slower than growing a bonsai.
States will get more freedom to decide if they need tents, tiny houses, or inflatable castles — as long as it’s not another 500-page PDF.
And survivors will get letters they can actually read, instead of bureaucratic puzzles that say “Congratulations, you’re approved… just kidding, file again in triplicate!”
Rumor says some survivors have fainted in disbelief: “You mean, help might come this year?” Stay tuned — the paperwork apocalypse might finally end!