On a sweltering July day, Donald Trump decided it was time to turn up the heat on international trade—literally. With all the subtlety of a reality show plot twist, he announced a 30% tariff on goods from the European Union and Mexico. The markets responded immediately—by screaming into a pillow.
The U.S. stock market behaved like it had just found out its Tinder date brought their parents. Investors scrambled, CEOs hyperventilated, and one hedge fund manager was last seen muttering “Why didn’t I buy gold… or goats?”
The EU replied with calm vengeance. Rumors say they’re drafting a retaliatory tariff list that includes bourbon, Harley Davidson, and possibly bad grammar. Meanwhile, Mexico is eyeing duties on American fast food, reality TV, and whatever the heck Marvel is doing in Phase 15.
Economists warn of potential inflation spikes in the U.S. “Imported goods like European cheese and basic sanity could get more expensive,” one analyst noted while checking their Euro savings account.
And so, July 15 may go down in history as “Slip-and-Tariff Day.” Trump threw the punch. The world raised an eyebrow—and possibly a frying pan.